Introduction
When a parent dies it can be a very painful and challenging experience. Whatever your age, and however it happens, it changes many aspects of your life, and will have an impact on the whole family.
Everyone experiences grief differently and many things can affect your experience. If your parent died young, or you are young yourself, it can feel very unfair. But even if they lived a long and happy life, it can feel like a shock when they die.
You may feel like a connection with your own past is lost, or you may suddenly feel like a child again.
You may have lost a central relationship in your life – a parent might have been someone who loved you unconditionally, or thought you were the most special.
Not every parent-child relationship is simple and loving. If you had a difficult relationship, or weren’t in contact, that can bring a different set of challenging emotions, and a knowledge that there is no longer time to solve any differences.
If you were caring for them, or if they were suffering, it’s also common to feel relief and that a burden has been lifted.
If you have a surviving parent, or if other people were dependent on them, it can bring new practical challenges to your life.
It can remind you strongly that we are all going to die, and people often feel that they are one step closer once a parent is gone.
It can change the dynamics in the family, and even cause arguments and rivalry. People can cope with grief in different ways, and this can also lead to misunderstandings.
Whatever your situation, the death of a father or mother is a major change to your world and it takes time to adjust.
Ways of coping
If you are struggling to cope or understand your feelings, we have some more suggestions on coping with grief.
If you are still feeling very bad after some time has passed, or your feelings are very strong and difficult to cope with, you may need some additional help. Find out more about getting help and what’s available.
